The First ChowTester Memorial Ceremony by Carl Hansen, reprinted with permission. All rights reserved, may not be reproduced.
This is the first memorial service held in the 'virtual' location of Ether City, home of the ChowTesters. After a year in which many cherished pets had passed to the Rainbow Bridge, the ChowTesters decided a memorial service was in order. The following is a transcript of that service.
Good evening, everyone, this is B.W. Felix, the voice of Ether City Radio.
The time here is just before twilight at the end of a beautiful day here in Ether City.
The sun is low over the western hills with the shadows growing towards us, the air is calm and peaceful with the sound of the birds in the surrounding woods settling in for the night.
Let me describe our surroundings. In front of us, there is a long covered object spanning a ravine and stream from us to the VirChewAll Chow Company's catnip fields.
To the immediate west of us there is a cleared patch of ground, surrounded by benches and tables and patio furnishings, with a view of the hills and a glimpse of the ocean beyond.
Behind us are the woods with a small newly paved trail leading from the parking lot at the VirChewAll factory parking lot.
To the east is a fine view of Emerald Lake where the stream runs into it, and you can see the airport just beyond the lake. It's a quiet bucolic scene with a view of a herd of cows heading for their barn for milking.
There's a sign of activity now with a group of cats and dogs and, yes folks, that's a pig coming up the trail. They're all wearing colored lab coats, with black arm bands, carrying gold plated can openers in their vest pockets and wearing Rayban sunglasses, and they're all carrying musical instruments. No I'm wrong, the pig isn't wearing a lab coat, she's wearing a black opera cloak with pink satin lining.
I might be wrong but I think that's the world famous Chowtesters Band. I'm sure I'm right, that is them. Let me see if I can have a word with their conductor, the famous or is that infamous Presh Salsbury, star of the Precious Little Love series of films.
Presh, if I may call you Presh, just what is the band doing here?
Sure B.W. call me Presh, everybody else does. Well we're here to play a little background music for the ceremony because we want to say goodbye to Frank Noseripper Krook .
You'll have to excuse me we have to start now. Maggie, Muffy you'd better get ready, I think I see Maxwell now coming out of the woods. Suddenly there's a horrible screech as Maxwell settles in with his bagpipe and starts blowing.
Yes people, that's Maxwell Mantia, wearing a Black Watch tartan and dressed in full regimental gear, with his sporran and skean dhu.
As Maxwell marches and counter marches playing Amazing Grace, Maggie and Muffy Peters, two little black and white tuxedoed kitties start singing the words.
As Maxwell plays his little heart out and Maggie and Muffy sing like angels, the official party enters the clearing with Mrs. Felisha Felix on the arm of Frej Krook who is accompanied by Francine, Felicia, and Patches.
Behind them, come Gayle Hunter with Impy, Tally, Quin, Cari, and Darby.
Then Barb Salsbury (Presh's mom) accompanied by Sally-Ann, Twerpie, and Booful who are joined by Presh.
M/Etc Peters enters joined by Maggie and Muffy still singing their hearts out for their momma.
Judy Gamble is surrounded by Bunny, Lily, Calla, and Spot.
Mary L. Barzee and her son for support are accompanied by ShadowCat.
Chris Cunningham with Ande and Elly are joined by Bo.
Bobbie A. Hayes enters preceded by Antigone and Zeus.
Diva and Closer make an entrance along with their mother Gretchen Beck.
Vickie Barcomb, along with her senior statesmen cats, Oliver, Sasquatch, and Moishe move into the meadow.
Barb Hunter and Ziggy are the next to make an appearance.
Carl Hansen with Loki Anklebiter and Precious Beardpuller are joined by the members of MANTIA and follow Maxwell to join the official party.
The official party all exchange hugs and Mrs. Felix steps to the front and takes the microphone.
Friends, welcome. I am honored to be asked to take part in the dedication of THE FRANK NOSERIPPER KROOK RAINBOW BRIDGE.
As the bronze plaque on the left says
BELOVED ANIMAL COMPANIONS
WHOSE CROSSING OF THE RAINBOW BRIDGE
HAS LEFT US ALL POORER
FOR THEIR ABSENCE
I would like to hand over the microphone to Nicholas Mantia who will conduct the remainder of this ceremony.
Thank you Mrs. Felix, to continue I would like the to read a little something with my brothers and sisters. We don't know who wrote it, we got our copy from the InterNet, but we love what it says.
There is a bridge connecting Heaven and Earth. It is called the Rainbow Bridge because of its many colors. Just this side of the Rainbow Bridge, there is a land of meadows, hills and valleys with lush green grass. When a beloved pet dies, the pet goes to this place. There is always food and water, and warm Spring weather. Those old and frail animals are young again. Those who have been maimed are made whole again. They play all day with each other.
But there is only one thing missing. They are not with their special person who loved them on Earth. So, each day they run and play until the day comes when one suddenly stops playing and looks up. The nose twitches, the ears are up, the eyes are staring, and this one suddenly runs from the group. You have been seen, and when you and your special friend meet, you take them in your arms and embrace. Your face is kissed again and again and again and you look once more into the eyes of your trusting pet.
Then you cross the Rainbow Bridge together, never again to be separated.
Excuse us a moment, we have to collect ourselves.
After a few moments of cuddling and reassurance, Nicholas, biting back tears, returns to the microphone. You will find that on a plaque on the right tower of Frank's bridge.
Frank was our friend and a role model to all young cats and we are going to be building a cairn with the names of our crossed over friends. Frank s stone will be the corner stone, the foundation of this memorial.
So Mr. Krook would you and your companions please come forward and place this white marble stone with apricot streaks running through it?
As Frej moves forward, the Chowtesters Band starts playing the song The Rainbow Connection accompanying a solo by Charlotte Baldwin, the Chowtesters one and only pig and best soprano.
Nicholas hands Frej the microphone.
I am humbled and eternally grateful for the outpouring of sympathy and love that Frank's untimely departure to the Rainbow Bridge has brought forth from the forum family. Patches, Francine and Felicia very much appreciate it as well. If there is any good to be gleaned from Frank's passing it is to remind us how friendship is everywhere around you -- if you only care enough to look. I confess that my kits and I never expected anything like this, and we would like to thank MANTIA, Loki, Precious, Carl, Presh, Mz. Felix and all of the other cats and humans who helped with this project. I'm sure that Frank is happy that this memorial is for *all* of our departed friends, and is proud that his portion of the memorial was chosen as the cornerstone.
stone to it's place and step back>
When all is said and done, the truest measure of the value of any cat -- or person -- is in the number of friends and others whose lives that person or cat has touched and made better. Frank is a very, very rich cat indeed.
Thank you all, from the four of us.
Excuse me, Mr. Krook but JB Jeffries has a little something to attach to Frank's stone.
JB steps forward and attaches a gold deputy's star to Frank's stone. The star flashes and gleams in the light reflected from the bridge.
Frank was an outstanding LEO (Law Enforcement Officer) and we are retiring his star with him. JB braces and throws Frank a salute and steps back into the crowd.
Mr. Krook, felicia has asked that we place a place a black, white and orange all swirled together stone for Loki , your little kitten that had passed over before Frank. She has also asked to have The Rainbow Connection played because of the message of hope contained in the song.
Would you please help us honor her wish by placing this stone?
Frej reaches for his companions, embraces them, and they all step forward to once again place a stone.
Thank you, Mr. Krook and felicia, francine, and patches for helping us to honor Frank and Loki.
Frej and francine, patches, and felicia join the crowd of spectators where they are engulfed in a sea of embraces.
Nicholas, back lighted by light reflected off the bridge, approaches Gayle Hunter, Impy, Quin, Cari, while Darby approaches from the Chowtesters Band.
Ms. Hunter, we know that Maddie was a special cat for you, just as all our companions are special, each in their own, never to be duplicated, way.
We want to recognize and honor that special link by laying this white marble stone with blotches of pink and black in it. Darby has asked to be allowed to play the Jellicle Cats song from the musical Cats because Maddie sounds like a real little jellicle cat.
Nicholas hands Gayle, Impy, Quin, and Cari the stone while Darby puts all his love into the best rendition of the Jellicle Cat song that was ever played by a loving little feline companion.
The stone gets positioned, not without a few sobs.
Ms. Hunter, we would like to share the words from the song, True Companion by Marc Cohen, you had engraved on the stone with everyone, because they are so true and beautiful.
And when I look in your eyes
I still see that spark
Until the shadows fall
Until the room grows dark
Then when I leave this earth
I'll be with the angels standin'
I'll be out there waiting for my True Companion....
[my] True Companion....
Ms. Hunter, we're sorry that we were unable to have all your companions here, but we thank you and your delegation representing the rest of your companions for reminding us of that special trust and love that can exist between human and animal companions.
Thank you.
Gayle, Impy, Cari, and Quin join the spectators where a tidal wave of affection and love breaks over them. Darby, looking longingly back at Gayle, trots over to the Chowtesters band, where he is engulfed by a sea of Chowtesters all trying to hug, and kiss him. As the commotion dies down, Presh hands her conductor s baton to Skyler and galomps over to Barb Salsbury and Sally-Ann, Twerpie, and Booful.
Come on Mommy, We's got this grey stone with all these light grey rings all over it and with this single red stripe running through it. It looks just like Charlie when he got all dressed up in his collar. I was up all last night polishing it and engraving the message you asked for in it.
Come on, we's all gonna place da stone while Charlotte sings You Needed Me for us.
Barb, Sally-Ann, Twerpie, Booful , and Presh position the stone with Presh giving it just that little nudge to make its alignment perfect. Barb steps back and reads aloud the stone s engraving . Charlie - "our son"...you were the most wonderful companion....thru our first rocky years together, all the car-travel (thru 7 states!), what a treasure you were! After your surgeries, who would have thought you'd lay in Daddy's arms, purring, while mommee drove the huge syringe into your leg, day after day? You were THE BEST, "big boy", and you're in our thoughts *every day*. Do you hear me when I talk to your picture? I hope so...I always assume you do.
I hope you are having a wonderful time at the Rainbow Bridge, and I know I'll see you there some day. Take care, and give a great welcome to all our other friends when they arrive.... they were are as loved as you are.
Mommy and Daddy (Barb & Lucky Salsbury)
Ms. Salsbury, Charlie sounds truly special and I'm sure he remembers you always telling him Mommy loves you more than ANYTHING.
Barb, Twerpie, Booful, Presh, and Sally-Ann sobbing quietly, join the spectators for sympathetic hugs. Presh, suddenly remembering she's the band's conductor, tears over to the band's position to resume her duties. Unfortunately, she's so overcome with tears she keeps dropping her baton. Each time she drops it, its gently retrieved and put back into her paw by Cinnamon.
As Nicholas approaches M/Etc Peters, Maggie and Muffy sidle over to her also.
Ms. Peters, although we never met Cissie, we know she was a very special cat to you. Without her love and affection, you would not have been able to create the kind of home that has allowed Maggie and Muffy to flourish and become the sweet loving cats they are.
To show this, we would like you to place this jet-black onyx stone for Cissie while the band plays Turn, Turn. As the song says, For Everything there is a season under Heaven, and this is Cissie's season to be recognized for all the love she gave which, in turn, has made it possible for you to give that love to Maggie and Muffy.
M/Etc moves to the memorial and with Maggie and Muffy's aid places the stone.
Thank you Ms. Peters, for your cooperation and support, your example of love and courage help show us all how we should behave with our companions.
M/Etc, Maggie, and Muffy move to the crowd where they are greeted with hugs, kisses and earlicks. Maggie tears herself away to rejoin the band but Muffy decides to stay with her mommy to protect her from all these people.
The size of the official party is dwindling as more people join the spectators.
Judy Gamble, Bunny, Spot, Lily, and Calla join Nicholas.
Nicholas has somehow acquired an orange hued piece of marble with deep orange stripes running through it. These are the colors of Possum, Judy's beloved friend.
Ms. Gamble, we have never met Possum but we feel we know him through the stories you tell of him. We know he lost an eye, probably because of some evil human, but we also know that when he greets you at the Rainbow Bridge, he will be whole again.
We know his passing was a very hard time for you and that you were fortunate enough to spend his last days with him and actually be with him when he crossed over.
We know he is very important to you and always will be, we hope that you will feel free to return to this site and spend some time remembering the good times you shared.
By placing this stone we hope you will take a little comfort in the fact that Possum has friends who care enough to honor you and Possum.
But you, of course, know that the true memorial to Possum exists in the way you have been able to integrate Bunny, Spot, Calla, and Lily into one family.
There aren't many people who would spend the time, you have, to allow your cats to accept each other. But you couldn't have done it without Possum's love, support and example. It is for that reason as you place Possum's stone, the Chowtesters will play You are the Wind beneath my Wings. Because Possum's love is the wind that has allowed you to rise to the occasion.
Possum may be gone but his legacy is here with you today, your feline family.
Judy, Bunny, Calla, Spot, and Lily return to the crowd after positioning Possum's stone. A chance reflection from the bridge strikes Possum's stone making it glow. It's as if Possum was trying to say I'll be waiting at the Rainbow Bridge for you.
Mary L. Barzee and her son are chivied over to join Nicholas by ShadowCat their feline companion.
Ms. Barzee, We are pleased to be able to commemorate both Gandalf and Talley today. It's not every day that a cat like Gandalf, who believed himself to be the greatest hunter upon the face of the Earth, will make friends, play and sleep with a rat like Talley.
Ms. Barzee, would you please place this brown granite stone with gold flecks highlighting it, while the Band plays the song Somewhere Out There and ShadowCat sings for us.
Mr. Barzee, as soon as your mother is finished, would you please take this black and white marble stone and position it. While you're doing that our band will be playing Ben.
Both Barzees finish laying the stones so they are together, with Talley sleeping on Gandalf. Mr. Barzee, Ms. Barzee, we are especially glad to be able to do this for you because this is for all the animal companions who have passed over. They all, whether they be cat, dog, mouse, rat, horse, skunk, mongoose, etc. give humans so much love and trust and all they want in return is love and kind treatment, that is of course in addition to the physical essentials.
Thank you for allowing us to remember Gandalf and Talley, we're sure they're waiting for you now at the Rainbow Bridge. Hopefully Gandalf is dozing in the warm spring weather with Talley snuggled up to him.
The Barzees and ShadowCat are swallowed up by the crowd of spectators and participants.
Nicholas passes the microphone to Bo, who goes to join Chris Cunningham, Andee and Elly.
Bo takes Chris by the paw and leads her over to Nicholas who is waiting for her with an orange tabbystone with swirls of red and white.
Mommee, relax, I take care of talking about George.
George is my older brother. Without George, I wouldn't be the cat I am today. Mommee tells me, I came to our house to keep George company. George wasn't too happy to meet me at first, but he became my friend. He became my best friend, he taught me everything I know. When the day came, George wasn't there any more, I was lost, without him. I was one sad kitty. I still miss him.
Mommee brought Andee home to be my sister cause I missed George so much. She was never lucky enough to know George but someday we will all be one big happy family together for all time, Mommee, Daddy, George, me, Andee, and Elly.
Mommee, I know you and Daddy love George, but I'm not jealous nor is Andee or Elly. Because without your being able to love George, there wouldn't be any love for us.
There wouldn't be any us.
We would all go through life without meeting and having that special bond of love and trust.
And that would be really sad for all of us.
Your words on the stone say what we all feel about George. Bo sobs then reads.
Thank you, George, for always being there, sweet baby cat. Thirteen years was not nearly long enough for us to be together. 'Til we meet again.
You go lay the stone with Elly and Andee and the Chowtesters and me are going to play and sing for you.
As Chris lays the stone, the band eases gently and quietly into Have I Told You Lately That I Love You, and Bo starts singing to both Chris and George with all the love and devotion that a little cat can show.
Chris, Andee, Elly and Bo leave the cairn and microphone to Nicholas.
The official party is dwindling.
Nicholas, looking just a little wilted by now, is joined by Bobbie A. Hayes and her companions Antigone and Zeus, both fine upstanding examples of cats.
Bobbie's cats Rosie, Cinnamon, Gizzt, Joey, Poohdy, and Nikki were unable to make it because Rosie is feeling a little under the weather, as we all know misery loves company, so they stayed home with him. (Antigone and Zeus live with Helen Edwards).
Bobbie seeing Nicholas's growing distress beckons for a little water for him.
Nicholas makes quick work of drinking the water, a few quick licks and it's gone. He thanks Bobbie with a quick kiss on the hand.
Ms. Hayes, we are here to remember Percy and Charlie Hayes. Two special little cats who rejoiced in each other's company to the extent that one of their greatest pleasures was to sleep snuggled up with each other.
Percy and Charlie's stones will be placed together as we're sure you'll find them when you approach the Rainbow Bridge.
We have this jet black marble stone for Percy and this white marble stone heavily streaked with black for Charlie.
While you emplace the stones, the Chowtesters band will play Blue Skies to celebrate the promise of that warm spring day when you are all rejoined again and can once again bask in the love and trust, that can exist between human and animal companions.
Bobbie, Antigone and Zeus depart, to try and sit quietly and think of their absent companions. They find this difficult to do because they are continually being approached by people who want to express their sorrow at the crossing over of Percy and Charlie but also to express their joy at the forthcoming reunion.
Nicholas ears perk up as he sees his friends Diva and Closer approaching with Gretchen Beck but then his tail droops as he remembers why they are here.
Ms. Beck, we have two stones for Peeper and Meatloaf, this light orange stone for Peeper, and this black, brown, and tan marble that we found for Meatloaf.
We know Peeper and Meatloaf were special because of how Diva and Closer are, but we did engrave your message on the stones. While you place the stones so the message reads properly, the band will accompany Diva and Closer in I left My Heart in San Francisco.
Gretchen places the stones, hampered by Diva and Closer's trying to comfort her by twining around her legs, and straightening up reads.
Here's hoping they are better friends on the other side of Rainbow Bridge than they were at home with their person, and that they have finally learned to sleep together.
Ms. Beck, we bet Pepper and Meatloaf must have made things interesting for you, while they were on Earth by competing for your love and time but they still managed to steal your heart.
Thank you for sharing with us.
Gretchen, Diva, and Closer step down to join the throng where Gretchen gets pulled through the crowd by Diva and Closer so she can meet all their friends. She's pulled so fast by these two impatient little cats that she hardly has time to acknowledge the expressed sympathies of the crowd.
Barb Hunter and her companion cat Ziggy leave the dwindling official party to join Nicholas.
Ms. Hunter, Ziggy has asked us to find stones for Katie, Alfred, and Thisbe.
We have managed to find this piece of amber for Katie, and a colorful piece of granite for Alfred, see how it sparkles in the light, we spent a lot of time cutting it just right and polishing it.
We found a piece of red, brown, and white marble for Thisbe. Ziggy misses Katie and Alfred.
We hope these pieces of stone will help you keep those memories of your three bridge crossers until the day when you won't need the memories any longer because you'll be reunited with them.
While you position the stones, the band will play All Things Bright and Beautiful because everyone knows all our companions, or not, are bright little animals and what could be more beautiful than them.
Barb, laboring mightily, positions the three stones under the close supervision of Ziggy.
Thank you Ms. Hunter for allowing us the privilege of helping to commemorate Katie, Alfred, and Thisbe.
Barb steps down to join her many friends.
Mrs. Felix steps up and takes the microphone from Nicholas.
Ms. Barcomb, people consider me a wealthy woman, but you are far richer than me, because you have a wealth of love that you are not frightened to spend.
You have taken more stray and feral cats into your home than anyone I know and you have been rewarded with the joy of seeing them blossom into happy and contented cats.
However even in the most loving of homes, we have companions who cross the Rainbow Bridge.
We don't have enough stones to honor all your crossed over companions, but I would like to read a partial list:
Tinker, Sylvester,
Misha,
Kitten,
Pixie,
Puddin',
Humphrey,
Pandora
Venus.
We couldn't find a suitable stone, so what we have done is designed a golden capstone engraved with your cats names.
This capstone will be placed on top of this cairn and no more stones will be added to this cairn since it's already seven feet high.
We are starting another cairn next to this one. We want to keep all our cairns at a height that allows all names to be easily read.
While you position the capstone with the aid of MANTIA, who are a little more agile then Oliver, Sasquatch, and Moishe, the Chowtesters band will play Memories from Cats for you because memories are one of the greatest gifts our animal companions give to us.
Vickie, MANTIA, Oliver, Sasquatch, and Moishe struggle to cap the cairn with its golden cap.
They finally settle back satisfied with their efforts.
Mrs. Felix continues.
Ms. Barcomb we would like to thank you for the proof that you give us that love is the only currency where the more you spend, the more you receive.
Vickie, Oliver, Sasquatch and Moishe are swallowed up by the crowd of well wishers and friends. Nicholas takes the microphone from Mrs. Felix, who joins the crowd.
All that s left before the cairn is Carl Hansen, MANTIA, Loki Anklebitter and Precious Beardpuller and one black and white stone.
Nicholas hands the microphone to Carl and climbs into his arms for a snuggle and to be told what a good brave little kitten he is, and how proud Daddee is of him and all his brothers and sisters and LA and PB.
I would like to dedicate this stone to Sheilah, a black and white border collie who was a small boy's best friend and confidante.
She taught him a love and respect for animals that continues to this day.
While this stone will start the second cairn, her true memorial surrounds me today, Loki, Precious, and MANTIA. Sheilah s true memorial, as all our crossed over pet's memorial, is our relationship with animals and each other.
Thank you.
Carl puts down Nicholas, and as he positions the first stone of the second cairn, Loki sings and the Chowtesters play The First Time Ever I saw Your Face.
Carl stumbles into the crowd with tears running down his face.
Nicholas picks up the microphone and says to the crowd.
Thank you for coming and helping us celebrate the love between animal and human companions. Mrs. Felix has arranged a buffet suitable for all tastes, please enjoy yourselves.
Nicholas puts down the microphone and joins his family.
The sun is almost down now, the only light on the bridge is at the top of the towers making them look like four small golden flames. While the catnip fields on the heights beyond still shine in the last few rays of the sun.
Charlotte starts singing Somewhere Over The Rainbow with the Chowtesters Band playing. As Charlotte sings, the Chowtesters, one by one, put down their instruments and cross Frank's bridge towards the catnip fields beyond.
In the failing light they look like ghosts crossing a bridge of shadows towards the bright fields beyond.
As Charlotte crosses the bridge, the song gradually dies out and silence reclaims the clearing.
Well everybody, this is B.W. Felix again and that's the end of this ceremony, but I could swear as they crossed the bridge that more were on the bridge than ever got on or off.
Good night Ether city.
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